Writing topic #1 pg. 937
Having the person that you love not even acknowledge your existence, is like standing in a crowded room butt naked and no one even give you a double take. Have you ever been so in love with someone, and I mean truly in love with them and they are so obliviously to it. The guy that you have grown up with, you even took baths together as babies, it’s the guy that you tell everything to, the one who knows your deepest fears and regrets, its your best friend, and the one you love. The worst feeling in the world is loving someone who doesn’t even know your there. Sure he knows you as being “like a sister,” “best friend,” or
“one of the guys.” When all of those are great titles but you only want to be known as “the one.” No matter how hard you try to get over it and realize you will never be more than friends all you can think about is being with that person. Seeing the person that you are in love with everyday and not being able to be with them is like, drowning in an ocean and the life preserve is just past the tip of your fingers. Needless to say I have been in love with my bet friend for many years now and it feels like I am suffocating not being able to tell him how I feel. I know that I could easily tell him and see how he reacts, but we have such an amazing friendship that I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. Then there is the side of me that thinks, but what if he feels the same way, this could be the one and I am just going to sit back and let the chance slip away. The decision of whether to tell or not tell is like betting double or nothing. If I tell and he feels the same way, this could possibly be my future husband. And we live happily ever after. Or I could tell and he doesn’t feel the same way at all and I lose my best friend. I have kept it inside for a long time and I think that it is probably best I continue to do so. We did tell each other though, that if we are both single and haven’t had any children by time were thirty then we will marry each other, so I guess that is plan B? lol. I just need to keep those girls off him for a few more years.
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Oh wow i love your blog. I have been through that before. Oh man i think that is seriously the worse feeling the world. Because you see him with all these girls and your like I want to be the one not them. Oh man I hate that feeling. Then having to see him happy with someone else is even worse of a feeling. Dang reading this made me think of a something one of my friends told me "You know you love someone when all you want is their happiness, even if you are not part of their happiness". That is what your blog reminds me of. I know what you mean by not messing up a friendship because if you guys were to be together and it ends up not working out then it will never be the same between you guys. I know all this because I went through that and I lost a good friend because of that. But on the plus side if you keep all the girls away from him you guys will be together. Haha. Good blog thou. Lol
ReplyDeleteI started laughing before I even got to your entire blog. You know how your dashboard gives you a little preview of all the blogs you follow? Well the first sentence I read had me laughing out loud. Butt I got really sad when I read further. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re hurting so much, it’s just not fair. No one should feel like they have to hide their love from someone, I think that’s what hurts the most: having to hide it because you feel guilty. ( I liked that you used a bunch of extended metaphors instead of just one). When you said that he agreed to get married if you were both single for a long, a little ding went off in my head. I think you should tell him and stop torturing yourself, but don’t ever take my opinion too literally. I’m just saying. Lol
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, I actually do know this one. But it's not to the extent that you do certainly. The guy I'm talking about I've only known for a few years. I love that you logically think yourself in circles around this age old situation, telling yourself it never pans out for a reason right? But always lamenting wanting him so badly and thinking maybe you'd be the exception to this bitter rule. Which is exactly what I did. Even though logic is a jerk sometimes it really can help you here. Friends remain friends for a reason, ask yourself if he has done anything to make you think he likes you romantically? If he has, then your the one standing in the way and you should just respond to him. If not, then your only spinning your wheels thinking about him as a husband because he's not feeling it. If he loved you like that, you'd know. I say this because I tried to force it simply because I wanted this friend so badly, I tried to ignore that he'd never given me a single clue to make me think he liked me but eventually I was humiliated when he had to come straight out and say he didn't like me. It was crushing, so now I realize that my friends are strictly friends until they try to move out of that place. Because really, you don't want to be with a man who's not confident enough to swoop you in to his arms and kiss you. You deserve better my dear.
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